To the mother of this child

To the Mother of my Future Child;

The wood cut print was made by the artist
who runs our Art 4 God camps at the Delta
Center during the summer & Christmas
break, Vincent. I love the colors in this.

I think about you all of the time.  I wonder if you are pregnant right now, or if you have given birth.  I wonder if your child is in your arms right now.  I pray about what will precipitate you letting go of your child.  I pray you and your child do not suffer horribly during these difficult times.  It often times scares me when I think about what the two of you will go through together, and apart.  Whatever it is, I ask that God will allow my guardian angels to protect your sweet souls from unnecessary harm.


Whatever you are dealing with, I commend you.  Our lives are so different, and your country's suffering and poverty is so great.  You are such a resilient nation, full of hardworking, people trying to do the best you can with what you have.  I always said that I would give back to God what He has given to me.  I am forever thankful that I will be able to share His gifts with your child. 


In America, half of the pregnancies end in abortion.  Sometimes it is because they are not well off, or they feel as though they cannot support the child that grows within them.  None of those women live in the conditions that you live in.  None of them suffer the same hardships or have the same problems.  But you carry your child, supply for your child, and sacrifice for this life that is in you.  For this, I am eternally grateful.  


Hopefully, I will be the type of mom that you want for your child.  I cannot promise great wealth, riches, gold, or every heart's desire.  But I can promise great love.  I can love.  My children and husband can love.  We are very good at that.  We believe that it is our obligation to choose love over everything, every day.  It is our duty to love, care for each other, and bring and share Christ's love with your child.


I am strong, though not as strong as you.  I want to raise my children to be strong and educated men (and women) of honor, with a character that is pleasing to the Lord.


I know that this process will take months and maybe even years to complete.  I am so impatient that this seems to be a huge and daunting task.  But maybe your child has not even been conceived yet.  Or maybe a year from now, your child will be in my home. I know that I will never replace you, and that every time I see your child, I will see you and his dad.  And hopefully when he sees me, he will see the next best thing to you - a woman who wanted to give him everything his real mom wanted to, but could not.


I hope that I receive your child as soon as humanly possible, so that he does not know loneliness, or pain, or hunger, or sadness, or fear.  I want to suffer as little as possible during that time from the day you leave till the day he gets to me.


Know that I will never replace you and you will never be forgotten.  Your sacrifice and love is far greater than mine will ever be.  Thinking of everything you can have done to your child, and the choices that you made to get him to me, is incredible.  We might be his forever home, but Uganda will always be his heritage and you will always be his mother.  You loved him first, you sacrificed first, and you will always be the most important and the most courageous person in both of our lives.


In gratitude and love;


Allie