Keep the Questions Coming

Already, the questions have started pouring in, which is awesome.  Keep them coming!  For now I have 2 major questions that have been pouring in.

How long will I be there? Paul has to be there for about a week to a week and a half, but once you add travel, it is 2 weeks.  I have to be there for up to 6 weeks in country.  When we signed up, we were told 3 weeks in country for me, which was not as scary as up to 6 weeks or more.  Can I have nothing to do, no project, no children, no mode of transportation, no place to go, nothing to reorganize for 6 whole weeks?  The answer to this riddle is "God will provide," He will give me patience, or fill my time, or hopefully cut it short.

How can we help?!?
With Children - I am trying to find a teenager to deliver children to and from soccer practices at night during the first few weeks when both Paul and I are gone, and then just from Grandma's to soccer once Paul is home.  My sister can come out for a few weeks to help, and I am trying to make her life easier by making meals, cutting down on her driving, cooking, and travel, etc.

With Finances - This is a sticky situation.  We budgeted for 3 weeks in country, not 6 weeks.  And we thought we would get more of a warning to get cheaper tickets, but as it is, they are almost double what we had budgeted for.  The shortfall is going to be around $6,000 give or take.  Any money that we do not use in country will be used to pay for the medical expenses that will accumulate quickly once we have him home.  He still does not communicate verbally, has had malaria at least 4 times, and has aggressive asthma.  We are raising funds through a third party site, and the link is here:  Give Forward

With Prayers - Anyone who knows me, understands that 6 weeks away from my children, away from "busy-ness" and away from projects might just do me in.  I am totally confident that God will show me how to use my time wisely, but you can certainly help me with a little project.  I need each and every one of you to send me your prayer requests.  I want prayer requests so that I do not waste a single sacrifice, so that I can truly meditate on your needs and and the needs of every one of your loved ones.  I did this before my hysterectomy and it was profoundly healing to my soul and my heart to soothe the sense of loss from not having any more children, with the idea that God would take my physical and emotional pain and do something awesome with it.  You can send me dates, times, intentions, miracles you need in your life, and during every second I have, I will offer them up.  I ask this in profound humility, knowing that I am a simple sinner, and my voice is no bigger or brighter or stronger than any other man's, however, this will be my project.  This will keep me focused, and sane, and content.  Every time our case gets held up, or something gets delayed, or something stupid happens, instead of being upset, I will be able to smile, and offer it up, knowing that my friends and their friends, and the whole world can be changed by one little action.

Spread the Word - Maybe your life is perfect and you do not need prayers, or maybe you want to learn more about adoption, or know someone who is a billionaire who wants to throw some money into a country like Uganda.  Share the blog, or my link, and pass it along!  I will do my best to answer questions or address concerns as quickly as possible.  Maybe your child has to do a country report and you need an awesome picture of something, or whatever.  I will have time on my hands, so help me fill it.

Can't wait to start packing
!

Beginning Again

Before I left for Uganda last year

It has been over a year since I saw your smiling face in Masaka.  I have tried not to write since I left.

I couldn't write or blog or really even speak about my trip much.  I would get half way through telling people about my trip, and I would start to weep.  I think about you and about Uganda, and the beautiful people living there, every single day.

If I go to the store, I end up looking for toys that you might like, or clothes that you might fit in, or movies that you would love.  I dream about how much fun you will have with the boys, how much you will learn, and how you will grow.

Taken this May before you got your photo books

I start making a photo book on Shutterfly, of my last trip out there, and I am forced to stop reliving each second, each emotion, each flood of memories, by this inner block.  It is almost too painful to bear.

When I came back, I spent a lot of time being torn between two worlds, trying to live in both of them at the same time.  I saw what we had, and wanted to get rid of all of it.  I saw each purchase in terms of how many schools we could have built with the money for the new couch, or how many tuition we could have paid for with the cost of competitive soccer, or Christmas presents, or the clothes in my closet that I never wear.

Here you are wearing the shirt I sent to you and
reading through the book that the boys made for you!

It took awhile for me to be comfortable at home, in a place I love, with the beautiful children that I have and the wonderful husband that allows me the freedom to be myself, and serves as the anchor and heart of our family.  When Father Michael came in May for the summer, I sent him home with gifts and toys for you, but most importantly he took several small books for you.  I hope that you have been able to enjoy them.  2 were scrap books that the boys made for you, with a page for each of them, and then pictures of our home, and car, and dog and church and school so things might be a little familiar for you.  And then two were done by Anna and I - we made two of those recordable books for you, where we read the story to you, so that our voices might be familiar.  One was about our family, and one was about our faith.  Hopefully, when I see you soon, my voice will help you to slowly start bonding to us.

I have composed about a million blogs in my head - things that I was feeling, the pain and growth that comes with waiting, the anxiousness of each new step, the excitement and let down that comes with each new situation.  But I could not yet put those things into words.  Even yesterday, the magic "January 15th" when courts would reopen, came and past and all day I carefully, mentally prayed for guidance and patience, all while knowing deep in my heart that you would be here soon.  I was so confident that all of a sudden, I had to hop out of bed and make 11 freezer meals for my sweet family to enjoy while I was gone.  I could not sleep all night long, feeling in my heart that soon I would prepare to come and get you.

And wouldn't you know, that at 6 AM, on January 16th, Father Michael calls to tell me that my court date is February 19th "so you need to get your airline ticket like tomorrow Allison."

So for now, I will start blogging again - updating my friends and family about this crazy little ride that we are on, and hopefully, documenting every thing that we did to get you HOME!