The first 24 hours - Wed 19th

The first 24 hours

Tuesday night, the 18th

Well, I certainly hope that the rest of the trip resembles the first 24 hours of the trip, in terms of sheer blessings we received.

Uganda does kind of welcome you with a blanket of oppressive heat and fiery air that both suffocate you for the first few minutes you are there.  You take a deep breath and your lungs burn.  But then you become so engrossed in the visa lines and procedures that you almost forget about the taste of the air.  And then this is where our luck started to change. 

We were in the very last row getting off of the flight and I knew the visa line was going to be ridiculous.  And it was, but a security officer decided, right when we walked up, to start a new line, and he sent us up to the very front.  Our visa wait went from 45 minutes to 5 minutes just like that.  And when we went to go to the baggage carousel, our bags came off, boom, boom, boom – all 8, almost right in a row, without a hitch.  We got them loaded on carts, made our way to the front door, and there he was – Fr. Michael Ssenfuma – his ultra bright white teeth radiating through a smile that goes on for days.  “Al-Ee-Son.”  It was almost 11 PM and we were leaving Entebbe, headed for a midnight dinner in the capital. We were at the Emmaus Guest House by 1 AM, and resting on our foam mattress, by 2 AM. 

Notes from my prayer journal:  We landed in Entebbe, and were quickly on our feet. I feel like I am breaking all of my well established travel rules, and this is leaving me queasy – like “Hey, if you start the trip like this, it will be a failure.”  Once I let go, things seem easier.  Jesus is starting his rebuilding project in me. 

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73:26

Soundtrack song for the day: Promises – Nero

Wednesday, the 19th

But how can you sleep when you are greeted by the noises of stray dogs fighting, bugs getting zapped, and then your own crazy thoughts running through your many mental to-do lists while you try to sleep?  You cannot, and we did not.  I was able to wait until 5 AM before I just had to wake up Paul too. “Wake up, I am bored, and the power is not on, and I am too scared of what I might step on or trip over if I get off of this mattress.”  He did not oblige or stay awake for long, just long enough for me to fish out my flashlight and a notebook and start writing things down and going through all of the papers that I might need for the hearing.

I start listening for signs of life in other rooms around 6:30.  Think of a large cinderblock home with wood floors and glass windows above every bedroom.  You can heard everything that goes on in every room.  I was searching through all of the sounds for signs that little Michael was waking up or getting dressed or eating or playing or anything.  Nothing came though, so I woke up Paul and introduced him to showers that consisted of a hose coming from the wall and only very cold water.  He was not a fan, but did say that it made him much cooler than he had felt for the past 24 hours.  Well then, mission accomplished I say.

We were met downstairs with hugs from little Benny Michael and his sweet sweet smile at around 8:30.  It was really so cute.  He instantly attached to Paul, and was not so interested in me – that is until I gave him a Grover and Sesame Street talking phone.  He then started to make eye contact with me.  However, when he did, his eyes wet straight up to my hair color, and he would look at it with some amusement, and then shy away. After Michael had three bananas and a dry piece of dry toast, we were off to the courthouse.

As soon as we got in the car, we got a call saying that our hearing was not at 11, like we were told, it was actually at 9 AM, and we were officially 1 minute late for a hearing, in a building that is 1 hour away with normal traffic.  We started praying for good traffic, and made it there in 20 minutes.  Praising God and thanking Him for listening to all of your prayers, we tried to find parking.  Parking was a little difficult because apparently, that was the perfect time for a land and rights dispute to erupt in the center of the parking area and there was a truck bed full of police officers in riot gear blocking the entrance, and people from all over the place watching the scene with great interest.

Father dropped us off on the corner of the road where the lawyer’s secretary agreed to meet up and she escorted us to the lawyer’s room.  And it was there that I learned that we had been dealt a huge blow the day before, but nobody had been able to get a hold of us, which was probably a good thing.  The conversation went a little like this.

“So, Russos.  You were supposed to be here yesterday for an 11 AM hearing.” 

“Wait what, no, they told us the 19^th, the email says the 19^th.” 

“Well, I am not sure if it is your agency’s miscommunication, or the courts miscommunication to me, but it was yesterday and you missed it, and I filled it with a different family and the judge rescheduled you for 2 weeks from today.”  I think the look of shock on my face, as I thought about the possibility of going from 12 weeks to 14 weeks in country, made him chuckle a bit. 

“Well, not to worry.  I cut a deal, and bumped one of my families who was supposed to meet today, into your time spot in two weeks, and got you into theirs.  And because you were not here yesterday, the judge had time to review your case more, and you need to be prepared for the following questions:”

1.)    Why do you have a fire arm in your house and how is it stored?

Because we live in the South and lots of people have them, and the weapon is in two pieces, in two locked safes, with the ammo in a 3^rd, in 3 separate parts of the house and I do not know where the key is or how to put them together and my children does not that it exists, or where to find the three boxes and keys it takes in order to put them together.  And if you said the word, we would get rid of it in a heartbeat. (Good answer Paul)

2.)    Why is there two stated incomes on your case study?

Because we had the case study finished during the beginning of 2012, and then every year you must update it.  And there would have been a third income, had we waited any longer than then next few months.  Your home-study is not allowed to ever expire.

3.)    Ms. Russo, you are very, very busy.  Look at this list of activities that you have written down here in your homestudy.  How can you do those things and be there for your children and husband?  

“The answer is two fold. A) Well, every activity I do is so that I can be close to my children and be involved in what serves in their best interests.  B)  I have scaled back in the past six months, and will do whatever is necessary to make sure that my children come first and that my involvement is not a hindrance but a blessing. – American’s call this “helicopter parenting.”  I call it living what I preach.  As Paul told the judge, “We make a concerted effort to teach our children how to love and serve, not merely by speaking it, but by showing them how to love, and sacrifice for, and protect and serve.  If Allison’s activities do not teach the children those lessons, then they hold no value to the family, and I tell her that she cannot continue them.” Truth.

4.)    If you support children through World Vision, then why don’t you just send some money to Father Michael every month for his care until he is 18?

This is so much more than money.  This is forever, not for 18 years.  This is about a child, and giving him a family.  I can throw money at any problem that I have, but money does not provide love and structure and a forever family.

So, off to the courthouse we went – shaken by the news but not thrown off.  Michael walked down the sidewalks like a big man, very happy as always. And if you were picturing a huge room, with lots of seats, or a typical US courtroom, you are not even close.  Picture a very small office with a tall desk where she was seated, and two rows of tables, and then just a handful of seats in the back.  For our trial, the witnesses that were called were Paul and I, Father Michael, Grace (who as there when the baby was discovered), the nurse who took care of him for his first 18 months, 2 different official police and child advocates, Jane (who has been taking caring of him for the past year’ish, and maybe that was close to the total.

Side Bar:  If you are interested in adoption, I will put little side bars throughout the blogs about standard operating procedure for adoptions in Uganda.  SOP 1:  You must be prepared for your court date with several things: tax returns, newer proof of income, and money to give to your lawyer so he can pass it around to your witnesses.  Your lawyer chooses and contacts your witnesses, they sign affidavits regarding their involvement, and then they come to court.  The money you give the lawyer is for their hotel stays for the length of them needing to be there, their food costs during this time, the transportation to get from Masaka to Kampala and home, and then $20 which covers them missing work for the two days.  Father Michael had them all come to Kampala and be ready to go to court Monday night and they all left (except for Jane who stayed with us) after lunch, after the hearing.  Because we literally just got off of the plane, we had no UGX to give to the lawyer, but we did not really need to because I had wired money for Father before the trip to replace his brake pads and tires before his long drive, and he used that to reimburse them. 

And just so you know the sacrifices these people made to be there, Father went in the middle of the night on Monday to get them when he got the call saying that we had the wrong court date.  He made sure that they all got there, and were prepped and ready to go on very short notice (because they were ALL told the 19^th).  Most people do not have private cars, and gas is very expensive, and the length of travel is very long, just to be forced to skip work and sit in a courtroom for 1.5 hours.  I was eternally grateful, and you could tell that they all cared about what happened to Michael and worked hard from the beginning to do what was right, even though their offices are tiny, their financial support from the government is little.  The one witness that touched me the most was a woman named Susan who was single, working for the Sisters near Masaka that take care of the elderly and the orphaned.  They had to stop accepting orphans because they could not cover the costs of medical necessities for them, so Susan found home for all of them but 2, so she decided to adopt them.  Then two more came back after the parents that they were placed with passed away. She then adopted them.  When Father approached her with Michael, she accepted his entrance into the hospital as a favor to Father and took care of him until he was climbing out of the hospital crib and moving around the hospital.

Anyhow, we were told that the hearings are normally ½ an hour, but this as easily 1+.  Each witness was called up and the judge was very thorough in her inquiries, which was great.  There were many times that I wanted to jump up and say things or clear things up for the judge, but I had to remember what my father-in-law warned me about.  He said that a courtroom was no place for me, but since I had to go and sit in one, then I should picture Jesus’ right arm firmly place around my shoulder keeping me in my seat, and his left hand firmly placed over my mouth keeping me quiet.  And if I could do this, then when it would be time for me to speak in turn, then He would give me the words to say.  It all went well I think, but it ended with a very sad and unsettling question though, one that I had never really given much thought, “So what will you do if I rule against you?”  Yuck.

We left with a court date set for Feb 28^th, to get her final ruling, and until then, we literally just sit and hang out – which sums up our time today.  We got Michael’s passport photos and Paul and I got our photos done.  It took about 100 tries to get Michael to not smile so big – your photo is supposed to be very serious, but he cannot be serious.

There was a lady in the office who was very upset that this child was not disciplined.  She was very loudly yelling, “You need to discipline him.  Teach him not to be so wild and disobedient.”  I was rather uncomfortable because he was not being loud, he just did not understand when the man was telling him to make a mad face.  This child probably had never really known anger, and I was not about to let it enter his little world.  Finally the lawyer’s assist who walked us down to the photo office to translate told her that we were adopting, and that the 4 year old does not speak, and she promised that we would take him home and help him learn.  The woman then started talking about how she wanted to adopt, and how wonderful it was, and thank the Lord he would learn to be civilized.  You could tell from her response that she meant no harm, but knows nothing about 4 year old boys.  Another God moment:  Paul, at the airport exchanged just a $50 bill in order to make change to tip the luggage cart guy.  The remainder of the money was exactly $1000 UGX shy of paying for the photos.  However, it had occurred to me that I might need UGX to pay to use the bathroom at the airport (because some places charge you) so I rustled up the UGX coins that I had given to my children when I arrived home last time.  It was exactly $1000 UGX, which saved us from more embarrassment.

At this point, I am feeling pretty OK, just excited to finally get our agency phone and call home, check emails, etc.  And that was precisely when our contact announced that we would not be given a phone because one of their cell phones was accidently take back to Birmingham by the family that just left, so they were one short.  When I heard this I went a little into panic mode.  The power had been out in our hotel since early this morning, so skype and wifi would not work, and I had not had a chance to check email or call my beautiful babies since I took off. 

We went to Café Javas for lunch, which is where Benny Michael became very tired.  We bribed him with skittles and metal cars for a bit, and then he simply inhaled his meal.  I have never seen a child his age eat that much – certainly not Anna.  For breakfast he ate a slice of toast, and two bananas and I gave him some of Fr. Michael’s omelet. 

This made him happy enough to come and sit on my lap for a bit.  He suddenly started rubbing his hands on my hair so I started rubbing the tips of my hair on his arm and chin and neck and he loved it.  He would grab a fit full of my hair and rub it around on his neck and arm.  It kept him very amused, as did any sight of other children – he would stare and stare, just watching them play and have fun.  He has never really had a playmate his age.  He had Hedwig, but now that she is in school, he has nobody to play with during the day which could explain his lack of speaking.  My kids will take care of that in short order though, I imagine.

We left there and Michael napped in the car while Paul and Fr. Michael were able to finally exchange our money, and then we went to an Orange store to get a SIM card for the tablet, and then went and bought the wrong calling card for my cell phone, etc.  Yes, the wrong phone card, and upon arriving back at the hotel, we discovered that the SIM card in the tablet did not work either.  Ack.

At this point, I was feeling quite anxious because I have several rules when I travel:  1) find and store a great amount of water.  It seems stupid, I am sure, but my throat has been really dry and bothering me since we landed, and I do not do well with my malaria pills when I start to get dehydrated.  2)  Unpack and organize, but we found out that our hotel was not our long term solution I had been planning on because someone came in and said they wanted to book the whole place at a full rate for an extended stay, which bumped us.  So no unpacking and organizing quite yet.  3) establish a firm foundation for communication with family back home and important people in in Uganda.  None of these had happened yet.  I hate feeling constantly thirsty and sweaty with no way to drink anything, and I hate not knowing what is going on with my kids.  All of these crosses were promptly offered up. 

We took Benny Michael back to the room with us, and Paul was awesome.  Benny Michael is just so happy all of the time, and he warmed to my husband quickly.  He was very needy and Paul soaked that up.  Anyway, after playing cars, and playing with stickers, read stories, and a small rest, I decided that we needed to leave our tiny room and hit the outdoors in search of breeze (still no power).  Paul found a soccer ball, or because we are in a normal country, it is called a football.  It was very flat, but that did not stop Benny Michael from kicking it all over the place with us.  He was not too keen in kicking it to me, it was a “Daddy Activity” that I was occasionally allowed to participate it.  Which was fine with me because I was having more fun just watching and taking pictures. 

So, we went back to our room, with Benny in the care of Jane, and we took a nap, that lasted for bits of time, but covered a span of an hour or two.  Father came home from his errands and met us around 9 PM and we headed to an Italian place down the road.  Michael sat between Paul and I, playing with cars, mimicking the sounds of me counting them off, putting them in order, eat lots of rolls, and being his happy self.  He let Paul carry him around the parking lot, and looked very content.

We went out to dinner without Jane at the Italian place up the road.  It was listed on our agency’s recommended “safe” places to eat, meaning families had eaten there, they were kid friendly, and nobody got sick.  My plans for feeding him, since I have not been feeling well is for me to get something he might like, and then asking for a second plate and giving him half my food.  This worked really well, and he devoured his half and most of the rolls that came with dinner.

And right when we came home, Arsenal started playing, or rather, they spent a great deal of time losing.  We waited until after midnight was we could call the kids through Skype, and as soon as we did, the power went out.  The call was disconnected, and I took it as a sign to go to our room.  Or rather, the pitch black, and lack of anything to do, gave us no choice but to go to bed.  We used my laptop as a flashlight to get up the stairs and into our rooms and just sat in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wishing the fan would work.  Suddenly, the power came on and gave us 20 good minutes to re-call my children before going back to radio silence. 

And now it is 4 AM and I need sleep and there is still no power so I cannot post this on the internet anyway.

Tomorrow: Take Paul around the capital, take him to the Martyrs Shrine, and then pack up our things and head to the Maria Flow and Masaka.  At least when the power goes out at the Maria Flo, the generators keep it running so I can feel comfortable knowing that I can reach my children whenever my soul moves me too. J  I am spoiled.

As a side note: I have been trying to post this for hours.  Every time the power flickers, something else happens and the power is down again.  I found it so comical, that I just started to laugh until the tears were trying to run down my face, but couldn’t because my sinuses are so messed up.  Paul finally asked what was I laughing about, and I had to say that my nose and throat were burning so bad, that I could not even smell how dirty I must be, and that I have all the medicine in the world to take to help my sinuses, but no water to take them within our room.  I could however boil water in the hot pot, but that would require electricity and even after it was boiled, I would want my water purifying straw to catch anything else that was still in it – but that would mean I would have to unpack, which I could not do because it is still pitch black in our room.  I just found it so amusing that I started laughing until I cried, and then got mascara in my eyes, which really burns, and I wanted to wash out my eyes, but Paul warned me that I might spend the rest of my trip looking like Bob Costas, and scare Benny Michael.  This is the funny reality to that you either accept or you let it make you miserable.  Smile on sunshine.

Notes from my prayer journal:  So many things could have gone really wrong today.  But Jesus is my rock – the light to my path, whose Will is my strength.  And even if they had gone wrong, they would have been exactly the things that were supposed to happen.  Maybe I am just glad that for this ver tiny second in my life, our vision for my path is similar?!? 

“I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Soundtrack song for the day: Always You – Sophie Zelmani