Ode to Joy

An Ode to Joy

What I have learned during this Lent, during this time in my personal desert, is that joy is contagious. Joy is free.  Joy spreads “like a virus through the village.”  Joy is a gift that you give for free, that ultimately comes back to you ten fold.

A simple smile can start this chain of joy, and I have seen this in action.  I saw this at the IOM office, so many angry, tired cranky faces everywhere.  I was waiting in line to receive my passport back, and the guard in uniform, with an AK-47 slung on his shoulder, was rifling through a stack trying to find mine.  I could tell he was getting upset, or maybe embarrassed because he could not locate it,or maybe he even thought that I was getting upset with him.  He looked up expecting to see an aggravated face, but I caught his eye and smiled and nodded my head, as if to say, “Not a problem, take your time, this is not the end of the world,” and he smiled back, and exhaled.  I am sure that he gets a lot of angry cranky faces barking orders, but he won’t get that attitude from me.  It is the same way in a grocery store, when the mom in front of you with two kids has the harried look on her face, and the kids are acting up, and she is shifting through her pure to find a coupon or her card, and she looks back at you, expecting to see frustration or anger, and she is embarrassed.  You have two choices - add to her pain and embarrassment, or give her joy.  I have gotten apologies or sad looks, and I always say, "Hey, I am in no hurry, I have 5 kids. I understand. Take your time."  I have been in her shoes and I will not add to her grief. 

Speaking of grief, I can do nothing here.  I am at the mercy of a system I do not understand.  I do not understand the different languages, and the words being shouted at me.  The culture is foreign, and I stick out  even more than a normal muzungo because I have an African child I am toting - who does a good job at teaching me humility and mortification in public places.  The only thing that I have in common with everyone is the meaning of a smile and the desire for joy.  Do I feel joyful right now?  I try, but it take more effort than I have at times.  Should I allow my own lack of “feeling joyful” keep me from sharing the joy of Christ with others?  Of course not.

Part of my problem here is that I find joy in serving others.  I love cooking for people, doing projects for people, making something that will bring a smile to someone, thanking someone for something they have done that they might have felt went unseen.  If you are sick, and need a meal for your kids - call me!!  Joy is obtainable by doing these little tiny things for others, with great love.  For when you focus on giving and serving others, you have little time to despair, to grieve, or mourn the things in your own life.  I knew this ahead of time, and asked people for prayer requests and their spiritual needs, because the only thing I can do here is pray and offer up sufferings and confusions and loneliness.  It costs $50 for me to go to Mass, so I cannot go every day. It would cost me more to go to adoration like I do weekly at home.  I cannot cook or do projects, or build something, or make something, so I begged people for a list of people or things to pray for.  Because I knew that I would only find joy here, if I was focused on other people, and not focused on missing my family.

On top of these prayer requests, I told Linda that I am trying to focus on bringing joy.  A smile can be an act of charity.  I have been practicing spreading joy to people in the everyday settings I have here.  Joy can be given with a smile to someone who would never expect one from you.  This is easy for no person, unless we “forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13) Treating people above their station or lot in life gives them more than a feeling of self-respect, it elevates their spirit and provides hope to those who despair.  A security guard stopped Linda at the entrance of a shopping center and flung open the door.  He was shocked to see me I think, because he stepped back.  "Hi, how are you?"  "Uhm, very fine thank you, you are very welcome here."  "Thank you so much for checking all of these cars for us.  We appreciate the protection! Have a great day!"  Linda laughed as we pulled away, "See Linda, he was smiling, not angry anymore.  You must give people more than they expect from you, because it costs you nothing to do so, and your smile is a gift from God anyway!"

Blessed Mother Teresa always said, “A smile is the beginning of love…Peace begins with a smile. Smile 5 times a day at someone you don’t really want to smile at, at all.  We can never know how much good a simple smile can do.”  People came to Mother Teresa to die, they sought a final place to rest their heads, where they were treated with love and dignity.  The wall in her chapel was painted with the words, “I thirst” because she understood that Christ, alive in each of us, thirsts for love and hope.  The homeless and dying thirsted for salvation, for dignity, for love and for hope in their eternal salvation.

I have seen this thirst in the faces of my children, and the children in the villages here.  The children here smile, because sometimes that is all that they can do, all that they can give.  When my children are sad or upset or disappointed by something that happened on the court or field or in the classroom, I can only stand by them and smile for them, and reassure them that these sufferings are necessary for them to grow.  I can only assure them that God is there, teaching them something valuable and important, in each event of their lives.  Mike Aquilina said in the book on St. Monica, “When we smile at family members we are providing a foretaste of heaven.” 

We provide for them a glimpse of what love, untainted by sin, might be like.  I always asked my children, when they were little, so loved them the most.  Anna was very upset when she realized that I was telling her that God loves her more than her mommy.  “No mommy, you love me the most!”  “Oh Banana, I wish I loved you the most.  But I am not perfect, and my love is not perfect.  Do I get mad at you when you do not clean your room?  Do I get disappointed when you break something?  God does not get mad about dumb things.  He is perfect, and his love is perfect, so He loves you the most.  And behind Him and Mary, and the angels and saints, you will find your mom, loving you the most that a human can love you!”  I hope they always remember these little conversations that I have with them when they are little.

Our face, our faith, and our very lives should communicate the love of Christ, whether we are “feeling it” or not.  Our day might have been horrible, our house might be falling apart, but the light of Christ, because of our hope and faith in our salvation, should shine out a path before us.

So, be joyful in all things, radiate Christ’s love this Lent, because the more we practice doing things with joy, no matter how much we “feel it”, the quicker it becomes a habit that brings smiles and joy back to your heart.  Father Michael would say that when you smile and give joy, you are “spreading the love like peanut butter.”