Monday, March 10, 2014

Sunday, the 10th

So I tried very hard to be sweet and loving and patient today, but I feel like I am surrounded by criminals.  I called Linda’s driver, and was charged $40 US to be driven to Mass, and it is like a 4 minute drive max- the weird part is that it was 45,000 UGX there and 55,000 UGX back.  Drivers often make it a 5,000 increment knowing that nobody can get 5,000 marks, so then we have to round up – so I got taken twice, because of course I did not get change while I was in Mass.  I sent a text to Linda and asked her if it was normal for the rate to be so high, and to be different depending on the direction, and she said no and that she would call him.  I just said whatever, as long as I never receive him as a driver again, and if she warns the other drivers not to cheat me, then I should be fine.  The passport office was 3 times further, and the rate was 20,000 there.

Then I noticed that if I order drinks during the day, I do not get a receipt, even though I pay the guy for them.  However, at night, he has been double charging me for what I had already paid for, except I cannot prove it because I have no receipt.  I thought it was a genuine mistake yesterday, so I did not say anything, but when it happened today, I was gracious, but wanted to punch him in the face.  NEVER again.  He is very nice to Michael and very kind to him, kicking the ball with him for a bit, but I much prefer tipping him than being lied to and cheated.

Benny and I had kind of a rough day.  I had to shave his head because he had 6 spots of ring worm when I got him, and the doctor said the medicine would not work if he had any hair on his head.  I had been waiting for Linda to go out on Saturday, but that never happened, so I had to finish the matter myself.  It was a very slow process (and my first straight bald shave) but it worked, and I have been lotion-ing up his bald shiny head.  I was talking to the Red Cross worker from New Zealand, that has been staying here while he waits for his house to be ready, and he shaves his head every morning as well.  He told me that I did a fine job, and any old razor and cream will work, and to keep up the good work.  He is very interesting to talk to, great accent, crazy stories from living in like 5 different places all over the world for his work.

And if I was not fighting with Michael over shaving his head, then I was fighting with him over potty training.  He has become bored with where we are at and what we are doing, and I do not blame him.  However, during the de-worming process, I figured that I might as well potty train.  Have you ever changed the diaper of a 4 year old that is in the midst of the deworming process?!?  Good gracious.  This is why we potty train much earlier than 4.  The first few times, I would say, “Let’s take your diaper off and go potty,” and he would totally comply.  By today, he was trying to sit on the toilet with his pants on, took his pants off and peed in the corner of the shower, and even more fun.  Let me remind you that the shower is in the toilet stall, and the shower drain is behind the toilet, so the WHOLE floor was covered in pee.  I could not even drag him out without walking through it.  I get it kiddo – rebel where you can but this is not any fun for me either - I think it was pay back for me not letting him run through the baby shower in the backyard last night.

I finally had enough electricity today to get Dumbo downloaded, and I sat him on the bed and let him watch that before his nap.  From everything I have been told, that was his first movie, ever.  Yay, that was my son Michael’s first movie too.  Michael loved it.  After a long nap, I got him up about an hour before Mass because he wakes up very slowly.  After he was redressed, we were on our way to Mass.

Father had told me last week to go to Christ the King church, and that there were a few Masses in English on Sunday.  He also had told me that it was a charismatic church, so I was not shocked by the singing and dancing (it would be a evening Mass at Franciscan on speed).  We sat in the back, because I wanted to have an escape route if necessary, and Benny watched, wide eyed.  When Mass began, there were three of us in the pew.  By the end of Mass, there were 9 of us in a pew that comfortably fit 6.  Michael knelt in front of me because there was not enough for both of us too.  I noticed immediately how comfortable Ugandans are sitting on each other’s laps; arms, legs, knees, touching and overlapping.  Me?  Not so used to it.  And because I was not shouting and dancing, people looked at me like I was nuts.  I thought I did a good job of helping Benny move his arms back and forth and do the other arm motions, but it might have been too obvious that I had no idea what was going on.

What I found the most interesting about the Mass would be the homily for this Sunday – the cultural relativity.  They say that you can learn a lot about the audience, based on what or how messages are delivered.  Today’s message was about turning away from sin, and I learned 4 very important things.

1.       Do not go to the voodoo witch doctor for medicine or for help with your love life.  They are satan worshipers.  And have you not seen these people – they look and smell disgusting.  If their god is not great enough to make them look and smell nice, then what makes you think that they can help you with your illness or your looks or your love life?  They will say, “Have sex with me and your love life will improve, but you will walk away with AIDs, with death filling you, and you will surely pass it on to the person you love – some help.  They will say ‘drink this’ and you will be beautiful, but why has it not worked for them?”
2.      If you are married, and then you move up the career ladder, and then suddenly you decide that your wife does not meet the needs you feel are important because of your new status, and you marry again, then surely your addiction has clouded your judgment.  A smart man knows that he will have too much trouble with 1 wife, let alone 2 or 3 or 4.  Have you ever met a happy man that has 3 wives?  No amount of money you could make would keep you and three wives and 3 homes and 3 sets of children happy.  Ha ha, men in this crowd are shaking their heads, they know it is true, which is why they escape to Mass on Sunday night – time for peace and quiet away from them all.
3.      Women, if you would keep yourselves covered, and act like you have some respect for yourself, then men would be interested in you.  But satan whispers, show them the whole package, so you wear next to nothing, showing everything, and if you do not got it, then men mock you, and if you do got it, men don’t need to court you because you have already shown them what they want to see.  Do yourself a favor, and make men curious, make them interested in what MIGHT be under your clothes, and then you will get and keep a man longer, who has better character.  An unmarried, good looking young man has been given things far to easily, so why should he marry?  His sees this and that flaunted all over town, and women are easily giving him what he wants, so why should he ever commit.  Change men by changing your standards and priorities women.  I wish American women would hear this more.
4.      “If you read stories about 20 year old men having sex with 70 year old women, you know the cause is drugs.  If you hear stories about people with holes in them and their blood missing, you know the cause is drugs.  If you hear that men are marrying 3 times, then you know that he is on drugs.  People on drugs are addicted to the devil – they lose their beautiful wives, their nice homes, their happy children because they like to hit the bottle, and smoke the weed and then they lose their souls.  What 20 year old could be attracted to a 50 year old woman?  Drugs have warped his eyes.  Who thinks that blood tastes good?  The devil has warped their mouth.  Who thinks that being married and having so many women control you is the definition of happiness?  The devil has warped your brain and your heart.  You are a taken man if you fall under these descriptions.  I will not call you up here, but you know who you are.  You are thinking right now, ‘Oh he is so right, learn from my misery.’ But we cannot learn from your misery, because nobody learns from history.  People think they are invincible, people think they are better than that, stronger than you, smarter than you.  But the devil knows how to tempt you.  Look at Jesus!  Did the devil offer Jesus a beautiful woman, no.  After 40 days in the desert, he offered him food, because he knows what we want and what we crave.”

So, it was a learning experience for sure.  I was a little intrigued by how people approached the altar.  When it was time to receive Jesus, there was like a mass exodus from all around the church – people pushing people, getting out of their pews and running for the altar, knocking over people in front of them trying to receive Jesus.  And a very low percentage of people actually went up to receive Jesus or get a blessing, maybe 25% of the people in the VERY packed church.  In the US, we are all about our lines, and even if you are not receiving, you just slide your legs over and let the people by you, and stay in line, and everyone knows how to exit the pew, and where to enter the pew, they do not cause a fuss or distraction.  But here, it was chaos, people going up the wrong way, people physically climbing over people in the pews to get out and receive, and then get back in. It was really distracting, and I had to really hold on tight to Michael’s hand because he tried to wander off a few times.  When I first looked up, wondering what all the noise and commotion was about, I wanted to stand up and whistle that perfect “Ms. Ceasar’s crazy loud whistle” that makes your ears ring for minutes afterward and put some order to the chaos. 

The seen was similar to walking around the South African grocery store. In America, you keep you and your cart on the right side of the aisle – you shop like you drive.  You do not wander around the middle, you do not drive or block the left.  Even when I am walking around Target, I think, “Shop like you drive” and all is neat and orderly and nobody is a hog or rude.  At the SA Market, it was chaos, people and carts everywhere, ramming into each other, bumping each other, blocking each other.  I kept thinking, ok, we drive on the left, so I will keep my cart on the left side, but that did not work either.  In the end, I realized that it was just like driving on the roads here – people are everywhere, there is no order or common sense.  If carts and people only came with horns firming attached to themselves, then it really would be easier to maneuver.  “Beep beep, I am passing you because you are too slow so don’t drift over.”  “Beep beep, I will knock you off your feet if you cannot move your cart.”  “Beep beep, I will stand on your knees if they block me from receiving Jesus whenever I so want.” (I actually saw this one happen.)

The night ended with Benny refusing to eat anything but French fries.  I have been asking them not to bring French fries, just fruit, but they always reply, “But he likes French fries, so we will bring a few,” and then he eats nothing at all because I refuse to give him the French fries. He is stubborn, but we are trying to work together.  Even as we sit here trying to post this blog on the internet, he s refusing the eat his toast, even thought I have tried explaining that the de-worming medication says that if he does not eat, he will be in misery.  

Notes from my prayer journal:  Today, I lacked patience towards the new and unfamiliar.  Even when I saw disorder and frustration and chaos, I should have immediately thanked God for the disorder, and for the faithful people.  But I immediately compared it to being home, and it was not until I was in my room and praying that I thanked God.  And when the driver ripped me off, I was angry instead of seeing your hand in the situation.  The same goes for the waiter who keeps stealing from me.  Stealing is never good, but you see his needs and know his heart.


“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness.”
-          Galatians 5:22

Soundtrack song of the day   Hands Open – Snow Patrol  

Consecration to Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, The Immaculate Heart of Mary, Day 18

The Novena to the Divine Mercy, Day 9, those souls who have become lukewarm

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