Sunday, March 23, 2014

Saturday, the 22nd


I started my morning by wondering if they make 2-day sleeping pills that I could give Benny and I to get us through the weekends…I debated in my mind the efficacy of such an invention, knowing that I would want to use the same invention with Benny whenever it was time to fly home – 9 hours to Amsterdam, 3 hours waiting, 9 hours to Atlanta, 1.5 hours in customs, 3 hours home.  Moms all over the world would sing my praises when traveling long distances.

I got Benny changed, and sent him into the bathroom – and at some point in the middle of the process, he decided to get off of the toilet, use the floor, and then get back on to finish his business.  I spent the next 2 hours sanitizing the bathroom.  For the love of God, I wish I was home, where I could show him how a real toilet work.  Of course, if he pulled a stunt like that at home, I would not have the luxury of a huge drain in the corner of the bathroom to wash everything towards, but somehow the idea of doing this at home was somewhat comforting – at least Paul would be there to laugh at me, and the kids would make mad faces at Benny and tell him how to do it correctly.  Of course I had to take a shower after that, wearing my shoes because the Good Lord knows what might be on me or the floor.  I promptly cover myself in hand sanitizer, and get re-dressed for the day.

It takes about two hours to access blogspot, and upload 1 blog without pictures.  I was determined to sit and get Thursday and Friday up, so Benny and I sat in the living room area and got to work.  However, Benny was not so pleased with my decision to be inside, but the closer you are to the wireless router, the fast and better your connection was.  He started to creep towards the door, and when one of the workers, Harriett, went outside, he made his escape.  I ran to put my tablet away in his absence, and then went outside to get him.  He heard me and turned around and turned to Harriett and started crying and put his hands up, like maybe she would rescue him.  She completely ignored him, thank God.  But this is the problem with living in one place for too long that is not permanent, where people let him get away with whatever he wants.

All of this just makes me upset and frustrated.  I dream about what he will be like at home, with boundaries, and no interference from well meaning Ugandans ruining my parenting efforts.  The bonding books say to keep him close, be his only source of food, blah blah blah.  But when you have three places that you are confined to – the bedroom, the dining room, and the backyard, you are kind of stuck to the people in those places.  Obviously, in our bedroom, that is fine – but these are tiny quarters not suitable for a 3 year old.  The other 2 harbor threats to the bonding process, and he is very used to people coming in going out of his life and making do with whatever constants remain longer than the others. 

I have really had to start cracking down on their interfering.  For instance, if we are eating dinner, and he does not want to eat something, he gets down and tries to wander around r he whines and falls to the floor and starts rolling around laughing, and everyone else laughs at him, which just encourages him.  I tell him to sit, and he whines, and the waiters talk to him.  I put him in his seat, and they come over and goof off with him, and when they walk away, he tries to follow.  I feel like I am constantly saying, “Do this, do that, yes, no, eat, sit,” and that everyone else is like “play, goof off, you are so cute, so funny, ha haha.”  Maybe they should be the ones cleaning up his mess all over the bathroom floor almost every single day for the past week.  Maybe if I showed them pictures of his mess, he would be less cute and playful.

To make matters worse, we are sure that he has giardia.  We spent all of that time and money getting him dewormed, but first chance he gets, he is drinking the shower water.  Hello?!?  The shower water is from a huge black tank in the back yard, from rain that came off of the roof.  You CANNOT drink it.  PERIOD.  Shower water smells, sink water smells, my hair smells.  I am bathing in glorified swamp water.  Since one of his long showers about two weeks ago, he has had diarrhea every day at least once.  He won’t eat stuff he used to.  You couple his intestines, with his desire to only eat pineapple and watermelon and mango and you can see why his stomach is so messed up. 

You can give someone antibiotics for giardia but it only shortens the lifespan of the parasites.  You cannot spread giardia if you are washing your hands after changing him. You will not catch it either.  So truly, there is no point in giving him anything now, if he will continue to drink water when he is in the shower.  And I have yelled at him for it, but what am I supposed to do, spank him?  As soon as I leave and wait outside the door so that I do not get soaked, he will do it anyway.  Even when I get out of the shower, I still cover myself in hand sanitizer.  I wash my face with face wipes, I brush my teeth with a bottle of water, I use Clorox wipes on the sinks and toilet every time he is done. 

I did get a chance to talk to my sister Sarah and both of my parents today which was nice – and I talked to all of the kids as well.  It is really hard to make this happen – conversations with the kids are hard to manage.  If I want to call them at 6 AM, I fight get three of four minutes per kid, and I set my alarm on my tablet to tell me when it is 2 PM, because I am liable to miss it.  If I want to talk to them at the end of their day, when they are home after baseball and streaks, then I have to stay up until 3 or 4 AM – which is not hard when I am having nightmares, but normally around 4, I have an easier time falling asleep.  I have found that Saturdays at 5 PM my time, when it is 9 AM their time, is a decent time to call them….unless they have soccer, which is every weekend except the weekends that start and stop Spring Break.  Yay me.

I fell asleep easily, in the middle of a rosary, but woke up 3 different times for torrential downpours and thunder that rolled for minutes at a time with no break.  I got up and moved my suitcases out from under the window.  Our windows have iron bars, but no screens, and the glass window parts are all open and swung out. You have to be outside to shut the windows or have a big long stick to pull them shut with.  The way that the wind was blowing, I was afraid of water being blown in and soaking the bags.  For the rest of the night, I did what I normally do - lay there and read emails, or check facebook and see if my husband is online or watch faithit.com videos or pray, or read my consecration books.  I order more digital books from Sophia Press so I have reading material for the next few weeks that I might be in country.

I cannot even begin to explain how upset I will be in the Embassy says that I will not get a Wednesday appointment.  I would probably start sobbing, right then and there.  I would lose it, I know I will.  It will crush me, no matter how much faith I have that this is God’s will, my faith and acceptance cannot suddenly make me happy that I am here by myself.  Just saying.

Notes from my prayer journal:  I am being tempted to distraction from things back home.  I am being tempted to hate the people that are causing these disruptions back home.  Every second I spend caring or being angry are seconds that I am taking away from Benny, and bonding and focusing on why God sent me here. I keep begging God to focus my heart and mind, when every part of me wants to call down the thunder to put an end to false accusations.  But He always said that persecutions will come, and we will suffer, and that we should not bother with fighting or defending, to pay the price they request and be done with them.  I am not ready to do that, I want to defend myself.  But what can I do?  I am in Africa, with little internet connection.  I can get facebook on a large glorified phone in my room, but have no keyboard, cannot sign in to important accounts because there is no firewall protection here, and more.  What is done is done, but it breaks my Will, which is exactly what God requires of His people to be true followers of Christ.  I am learning.  Baby Steps.

“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” 

-Psalm 9:10


Soundtrack song of the day – Broken Bells – the High Road

Consecration to Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Blessed Mother Teresa, Day 31
The Novena to the Divine Mercy, Day 5


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