I woke up all of the way, and woke Benny up for the Embassy appointment. My driver was right on time, and he got us to the Embassy almost an hour early. I got through security, got up the hill, waited diligently and prayed and prayed and prayed. All through my filing appointment, the woman was so kind. She liked my paperwork, was complimentary of my organization, appreciated how I filled out everything correctly and was such a dear. She ended the meeting by saying that woman who does the interviews had a dental appointment, but might be able to squeeze me in. She said she would call me later, and I told her that I would be praying for good news. She was so sure of my paperwork, she even had me pay the Embassy for the visa.
I went home and laid Benny down for a quick nap - and I joined soon behind him, falling asleep with a rosary in my hand, and an icon of Our Lady of Perpetual Help on my heart. I woke up about half an hour later, to my phone ringing. A sweet sweet voice on the other end said, "Allison, your prayers have been answered, your appointment is at 2:30." I cried I was so happy - tears of pure joy. I will be coming home on Wednesday.
It never crossed my mind that something could go horribly wrong. I mean, last night, I blogged about the two options in my mind, an interview appointment on this Wednesday, or an interview appointment net Wednesday. My worry was never about the case or the file. The judge had remarked how clean it was, cut and dry. My whole process has been long, but easy. My records were remarkable, the story is water tight, the paperwork filled out perfectly.
So I get to my 2:30 appointment about half an hour early, but it takes awhile to be seen. When I go in, the woman introduces herself as the vice consulate. She immediately starts grilling me on questions about dates.
When was he abandon?
The police officer guessed and said that he looked around 4 months of age because the size of his head.
So why was his birth certificate given a date 1 month before he was reported and not 4?
I am not sure, something to do with how small he was and the fact that he was not growing.
So who said that Father was the guardian?
The police and the child office told the judge that their offices are over run, they have no resources, so they told Father to care for the child while they look for his family. Meanwhile Michael was sick, needed to be bottle fed, needed medical care, so Father went to the Sisters that run the hospital and asked them to care for him, and help him with his may medical issues. He has asthma, seizures, has had malaria 4 times, the last time he was in a coma. He was small, sickly looking, frail thin legs, a very over-sized cranium.
So really, Father abandon him with some nuns, and the nuns should have been granted a guardianship order?
Father did what he felt was right. And he wanted the child with him, but he is a priest, not a doctor.
Yes, but Father was told to care for him, and he did not. The hospital cared for him.
Yes, but Father paid the hospital what he could, and got him out of the hospital when he was healthy.
So why did Father wait to so long to seek an official guardianship order?
He had no idea that he needed an official order. He had a letter from the police saying to care for him. Any person with no experience in the adoption field would not know to do otherwise. I am a sure part of it was because the police were actively looking for family and hoping family would come forth. Part of it had to do with ow sickly and small and under developed he was, and that he kept getting sick, over and over. It was not until he started the adoption process for Michael that he found out that a police letter was not good enough.
Why did he decide to put Michael up for adoption?
He started considering the process when he realized that Michael had many serious health concerns, ones that he could not address as a priest. Michael will need some very serious speech therapy, he will need eegs and ekgs to check his seizures and check the heart to make sure that what appears to be a breathing issue is not a heart issue, make sure his speech issue is not more of a hearing issue even though he seems to hear ok. Asthma attacks can kill a child in the village. He is a priest, and cannot be a father or meet the physical needs he has. He is moved all over the place and knew that Michael deserves a family, a mom and dad who will love him and take of care him.
OK. My problem is this. Michael Ssenfuma did not have authority to place him in a hospital. He did not immediately get a court order (which most orphanages don't even get until Americans pay for one because they are expensive and time consuming). I did not like the police letter, because it was a stamped and sealed letter, not an actual court document (even though the courts accepted it as a valid appointment of guardianship). These are my red flags, and there are too many for me to accept your case. I am sending it to Nairobi.
Is there anything I can do, bring in, people you could talk to, the police or child office in Masaka?
Everything I wanted should have been in the file, but it was not. You will not be receiving an additional appointment at the embassy until much later, so you will have no chance to drop anything off to me. The only thing that you can do is leave.
What do you mean, when do I come back?
The file will be sent in almost two weeks to Nairobi. It takes a week to get there. Then they review it. It could take 30 days to review. Then they say, "Yes, no or maybe." If there is a maybe, you would fly from the US to Nairobi to meet with them and answer their questions and give whatever evidence they ask for. Then they will say yes or no. The process is a minimum of 2 months.
And then I come back here?
You go home, and you do not speak to us until the Embassy in Nairobi forwards us your file with their decision.
(Totally in shock) So what do I do now?
She gives me this look like I am a total moron, rolls her eyes and says, "You leave my office and go home and wait."
What am I supposed to do with my child?
Well, my job is to approve your file if I believe that you are his parent, and you received guardianship legally without question. I do not believe that Michael Ssenfuma did what he was supposed to do 3 years ago to even have the authority to seek medical treatment, and it took two years ago to receive guardianship legally, which means in the US, we would question the validity of your legal guardianship. He might have eventually received guardianship and the judge in Uganda might have accept that, but I question it. So yes you are his mother, but you cannot bring him home until the heads in Nairobi say so. So you do whatever necessary.
I took Michael's handed and led him out of the building and to the van in quite a daze. I call the Ugandan lawyer who says he will send a letter to go with the file. The problem is that some US citizen who has never been through the process or lived in a village, or seen the way that Ugandan paperwork is done is making decisions for American processes based on US standards. This is a huge problem.
I called Father to explain. We both were upset that this was my own government ruining this for me. There are cheaper easier ways to get a child in the United States. Kids disappear all of the time. Had I wanted a child and was desperate and a psycho, I could have gotten one. But it is when you try and be good, and responsible and moral, that you get put through the ringer by your own government. Father says that the battle belongs to God and that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Amen.
I called the lawyer, who said that it could take several months. I looked up online, and read cases that were between 2 and 8 months.
I called my agency back home and they began calling lawyers who deal with Nairobi to ask for pointers and time expectations, and more.
It wasn't until I talked to Paul, that reality struck. I will be leaving my child in Uganda, and I will go home with a broken heart and empty hands, and I will wait. What will I tell my children - that Uganda gave us a child, and their very own government is screwing us over because some bureaucratic red tape signed off on by a woman that knows nothing about the Ugandan process/procedure/and more?
The funny thing is that I have been correct for 6 months. 6 months ago, I had told my adoption counselor in Birmingham that I would leave the week of March 25th, the week of my consecration. She laughed. I told her again about a month before I left. I told her that God told me that I would leave Uganda the week of the 25th. "Well, I hope you are prepared for not leaving the week of the 25th." I laughed. I was confident. I just knew she was wrong.
I never knew though, that it being Lent, and the week of me devoting my whole being yet again to Our Lady, casting myself at her feet, meant that I would suffer and that I would in fact leave - but without my child. I would leave as a mom who abandon her child, for God knows how long. I know that Blessed Mother does not wish me to suffer this pain, but that she is using this suffering to do great things.
I will spend the next day or two somehow preparing Benny for my absence. I will need to find a caregiver for him, train them on how to use his nebulizer, explain his ring worm creams, buy enough clothes and diapers to last him a good while. I will wire money over to pay her for his care, and food, and supplies and for her transportation and more. This poor little man has been through so much, and now at my hand he will be caused more pain and confusion and sadness.
I accept God's will. I thank him for the suffering and the cross. I put all of this into the hands of my beautiful Mother, and I have complete faith and confidence that she will guide my heart, and protect Benny and guide my family and until this situation is redeemed, I will try and shine with the Light of Christ. I will bow humbly at His feet and beg for mercy for my family and the poor impressionable soul. I will beg that Benny does not fall further behind, that his soul and his health and his development are not broken even more by these problems. I have faith that God is in control, and that He will provide the protection over Benny and the strength I need to go home and care for my other children.
That will not keep me from sobbing, and my heart from breaking, and my mind from spinning. I wish I had someone here, to talk me through it, comfort me, guide me in all of my irrationality. But I don't, another gift from my loving Father - the lesson of mortification and independence - on Him alone I shall depend.
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